1 week. That's the amount of time she has given me to set things right. I plan to do just that. I think I've settled it abit and set the mood. I used something I planned for next year's Valentine's Day but I think it's about time I showed her instead of waiting for next year. So, we did it together, the thing I planned. I had only visualize it in my mind so I wasn't sure how it would go. We tried on the bus but I felt frustrated after a while because it just wouldn't work properly. I almost gave up and I told her that and I cried slightly. I cried because I felt that no matter how had I tried, it just wouldn't work. According to her sms, she was trying to hold back her tears as well but I currently don't know the reason yet. She gave me time to complete it properly at home and the rest of the time we sent together was bliss. All that she commented on us being boring was gone. It was sweet, it was honeymoon all over again. Which shows that my workload has really changed me to be an uncaring boyfriend. I must learn how to share my time. What's the thing I was making? Let's just say that if she decides to stay with me and let me put on my necklace for her, than I'll take post a picture of it here.. I don't want to lose her... Today was a first step... And I'm reeling now.. My head's in pain... My chest is in pain when I try to breathe.. I've been sick often... Really often... What's happening?
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Fuck this. Fuck that. Fuck me. Fuck everything. I don't get what the fuck is wrong. I... I just don't know what to do or say anymore.. No more quick and witty remarks... No more wisecracks.. I'm just a shadow now...
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School work is atrocious. Tests are here. Exams are coming. I'm now partially bald. Will post pictures to show one day. I have more projects than underwear seeing that I don't wear any. Not that I walk around freely with my sack hanging in my jeans but I wear shorts inside to keep it airy. They're mighty comfy. And airy as well. Much space for my "brother" when he's having fun. Back to projects. They don't make sense. Why should Accounting have a project? How does it link to us studying accounting? Doesn't studying formats, formulas and theories make the cut anymore? Telecommunication Systems as well. A project about a telecommunication invention. How does that help? Doesn't studying countless formulas, theorys and graphs matter? Bombard us with projects as well do you? If only I could swim through all the project-doing, swim through all the studying of complicated formulas, graphs, formats, thoeries and others and if only I could swim through my problems as well, wouldn't life be better? Than again, I can't swim. Maybe that's why I'm drowning...
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What's with my title? I was watching Eminem's Anger Management Tour performances and I realized that he always grabs at his crotch which kinda looks like he's grabbing 1 of his nuts. Why's everything about Eminem right? Go check out some other live performances by other rappers and you'll notice that too. So anyway, I've delivered my Project 1 speech for Toastmasters. So I'm now finally on my journey to become a CTM. My evaluation was great, and I felt that I impressed most of the guests if not all of them with my delivery. Anyway, I came down with fever on Saturday. Must be high from the speech I gave on Friday. Call it post-speech-sickness. PSS. Today I left home at close to 6am to send my youngest oldest sister to Temasek Poly for her athletics thing. I was reeling in the morning from a headache. Came home around 8 and slept till Shiffa called asking whether I was coming for religious class. Than slept again till Mel called to meet me at my block to pass her something. Met up, walked a big round, apologized for all the things that we've been saying to one another and I'm sure things are looking bright for me now. Did I mention I met a transvestite this morning? While waiting for a bus at Pasir Ris Interchange, this "woman" came up to me and in an unmistakable manly voice asked if I wanted to have fun. I didn't if you're asking me.. Somehow, "her" voice reminds me of Hafiz galah.
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I have a relationship with irony. It's a bumpy one in fact. There are times when I pray and hope that whatever my parents lecture me about will hit them back hard. Somehow it just never happens and I'll just look up to the sky and shake an angry fist at the clouds. Now irony has finally decided to work it's magic in a very, very cruel way. My parents had once said that they will keep all my certificates as I can't be trusted with them as I'll probably lose them. Now my parents are the ones who have irony rain down at them. They have I-don't-know-the-fuck-how lost my O level certificate and testimonials. Yes, they can't be found. Ransacked every drawer and cupboard but it still can't be find. Nothing else to do but to get a new one from the MOE. Oh well. Damn you irony! NOT LIKE THIS! *shakes angry fist at the sky
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This goes out to someone I can only call my home girl. I was introduced to you by Sri a few months back. I didn't know who you are but you knew who I was. You knew the words to say. You knew how to look deeper inside. Me and Sri are brothers and you just fit in like a sister. You said it was ok to listen to dead rappers music about how life was and watch the fucking world go by. Being large doesn't mean I should have such a small confidence level. It just means a more powerful presence. You listen to problems I tell you and you don't judge. Maybe because you don't know who I was talking about by face, but you understood. You taught me how to please girls through words and things I should do to ignite a small flame on each date. So, pretty lady, thank you. I still have your pictures and I'll send you some of my work soon. I'll tell you how my poster went thanks to your advice soon. And thank you for telling me that Zurich is in Switzerland, not in Italy. Be strong there, we'll still chat at times. You're real girl...
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Yes, that's what my teacher just said as I'm using my laptop in class. Haha "Please shut up if it does not belong to you!" Haha. Accounting tutorial seems interesting suddenly.
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The "B" word. Yes she's finally said it. BORING! After 18 months and 1 day, she said she found us boring. So now, we're taking a break from each other. Yes, we are. I don't get it. I think we're ok. So what if nothing special happens when we meet or if we just take a bus ride frm sch to the interchange and we go back to our respective homes without going anywhere else first? She finds it boring, I find it ok. She says she's bored. Is it me? I always try to come up fresh with her. I think it's her problem. She just told me that she finds everything boring and there's nothing exciting. She says she tries to make things exiting but I'm the boring one. Wonder how that happened? I'm boring? NO!!!
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Baby I'm back. New blog. I'll be posting all my back-dated posts here as well. Why a new blog? After using dysfunctional-destitute for 3 years, I was forced to shut it down regretfully and that left the blackbear hurt and dead (There's a personal reason actually but I won't say it). From there, a new emerged. Back to my roots. Scorpio. Why Scorpio? First of all, my sign is Scorpio and I happened to use it in relations with this girl that I used to like. After the feelings faded, it just became really cool to use. Thanks to Shiffa for this wonderful skin. I'm in love with it.. Finally, I'm back...
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1 week. That's the amount of time she has given me to set things right. I plan to do just that. I think I've settled it abit and set the mood. I used something I planned for next year's Valentine's Day but I think it's about time I showed her instead of waiting for next year. So, we did it together, the thing I planned. I had only visualize it in my mind so I wasn't sure how it would go. We tried on the bus but I felt frustrated after a while because it just wouldn't work properly. I almost gave up and I told her that and I cried slightly. I cried because I felt that no matter how had I tried, it just wouldn't work. According to her sms, she was trying to hold back her tears as well but I currently don't know the reason yet. She gave me time to complete it properly at home and the rest of the time we sent together was bliss. All that she commented on us being boring was gone. It was sweet, it was honeymoon all over again. Which shows that my workload has really changed me to be an uncaring boyfriend. I must learn how to share my time. What's the thing I was making? Let's just say that if she decides to stay with me and let me put on my necklace for her, than I'll take post a picture of it here.. I don't want to lose her... Today was a first step... And I'm reeling now.. My head's in pain... My chest is in pain when I try to breathe.. I've been sick often... Really often... What's happening?
|
|
Fuck this. Fuck that. Fuck me. Fuck everything. I don't get what the fuck is wrong. I... I just don't know what to do or say anymore.. No more quick and witty remarks... No more wisecracks.. I'm just a shadow now...
|
|
School work is atrocious. Tests are here. Exams are coming. I'm now partially bald. Will post pictures to show one day. I have more projects than underwear seeing that I don't wear any. Not that I walk around freely with my sack hanging in my jeans but I wear shorts inside to keep it airy. They're mighty comfy. And airy as well. Much space for my "brother" when he's having fun. Back to projects. They don't make sense. Why should Accounting have a project? How does it link to us studying accounting? Doesn't studying formats, formulas and theories make the cut anymore? Telecommunication Systems as well. A project about a telecommunication invention. How does that help? Doesn't studying countless formulas, theorys and graphs matter? Bombard us with projects as well do you? If only I could swim through all the project-doing, swim through all the studying of complicated formulas, graphs, formats, thoeries and others and if only I could swim through my problems as well, wouldn't life be better? Than again, I can't swim. Maybe that's why I'm drowning...
|
|
What's with my title? I was watching Eminem's Anger Management Tour performances and I realized that he always grabs at his crotch which kinda looks like he's grabbing 1 of his nuts. Why's everything about Eminem right? Go check out some other live performances by other rappers and you'll notice that too. So anyway, I've delivered my Project 1 speech for Toastmasters. So I'm now finally on my journey to become a CTM. My evaluation was great, and I felt that I impressed most of the guests if not all of them with my delivery. Anyway, I came down with fever on Saturday. Must be high from the speech I gave on Friday. Call it post-speech-sickness. PSS. Today I left home at close to 6am to send my youngest oldest sister to Temasek Poly for her athletics thing. I was reeling in the morning from a headache. Came home around 8 and slept till Shiffa called asking whether I was coming for religious class. Than slept again till Mel called to meet me at my block to pass her something. Met up, walked a big round, apologized for all the things that we've been saying to one another and I'm sure things are looking bright for me now. Did I mention I met a transvestite this morning? While waiting for a bus at Pasir Ris Interchange, this "woman" came up to me and in an unmistakable manly voice asked if I wanted to have fun. I didn't if you're asking me.. Somehow, "her" voice reminds me of Hafiz galah.
|
|
I have a relationship with irony. It's a bumpy one in fact. There are times when I pray and hope that whatever my parents lecture me about will hit them back hard. Somehow it just never happens and I'll just look up to the sky and shake an angry fist at the clouds. Now irony has finally decided to work it's magic in a very, very cruel way. My parents had once said that they will keep all my certificates as I can't be trusted with them as I'll probably lose them. Now my parents are the ones who have irony rain down at them. They have I-don't-know-the-fuck-how lost my O level certificate and testimonials. Yes, they can't be found. Ransacked every drawer and cupboard but it still can't be find. Nothing else to do but to get a new one from the MOE. Oh well. Damn you irony! NOT LIKE THIS! *shakes angry fist at the sky
|
|
This goes out to someone I can only call my home girl. I was introduced to you by Sri a few months back. I didn't know who you are but you knew who I was. You knew the words to say. You knew how to look deeper inside. Me and Sri are brothers and you just fit in like a sister. You said it was ok to listen to dead rappers music about how life was and watch the fucking world go by. Being large doesn't mean I should have such a small confidence level. It just means a more powerful presence. You listen to problems I tell you and you don't judge. Maybe because you don't know who I was talking about by face, but you understood. You taught me how to please girls through words and things I should do to ignite a small flame on each date. So, pretty lady, thank you. I still have your pictures and I'll send you some of my work soon. I'll tell you how my poster went thanks to your advice soon. And thank you for telling me that Zurich is in Switzerland, not in Italy. Be strong there, we'll still chat at times. You're real girl...
|
|
Yes, that's what my teacher just said as I'm using my laptop in class. Haha "Please shut up if it does not belong to you!" Haha. Accounting tutorial seems interesting suddenly.
|
|
The "B" word. Yes she's finally said it. BORING! After 18 months and 1 day, she said she found us boring. So now, we're taking a break from each other. Yes, we are. I don't get it. I think we're ok. So what if nothing special happens when we meet or if we just take a bus ride frm sch to the interchange and we go back to our respective homes without going anywhere else first? She finds it boring, I find it ok. She says she's bored. Is it me? I always try to come up fresh with her. I think it's her problem. She just told me that she finds everything boring and there's nothing exciting. She says she tries to make things exiting but I'm the boring one. Wonder how that happened? I'm boring? NO!!!
|
|
Baby I'm back. New blog. I'll be posting all my back-dated posts here as well. Why a new blog? After using dysfunctional-destitute for 3 years, I was forced to shut it down regretfully and that left the blackbear hurt and dead (There's a personal reason actually but I won't say it). From there, a new emerged. Back to my roots. Scorpio. Why Scorpio? First of all, my sign is Scorpio and I happened to use it in relations with this girl that I used to like. After the feelings faded, it just became really cool to use. Thanks to Shiffa for this wonderful skin. I'm in love with it.. Finally, I'm back...
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Credits
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Syed.
19. Going 20
Temasek Poly
In the middle of the journey of our life,
I found myself again in [or through] a dark wood,
[so dark] that the straight way was utterly lost.
Alas how hard it is to say what it was like,
this savage and sharp and strong forest,
which even in thought renews my fear!
So bitter was it that death is little moreso;
but in order to speak of the good that I found there,
I'll tell of the other things I saw there. - The Inferno, Canto 1
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Tagboard here.
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